I was 5 when I first found out about sex. Growing up I didn’t know much about periods, only that they happened to women and weren’t fun. It had to do with the reproductive system, blood, and the vagina. I understood that getting your period was a milestone marking a girl’s transition into “womanhood”. I also felt a sense that it was something to be hidden or at least not talked about (although I didn’t think any natural bodily process should be out of normal discussion).
I was 14 or 15 when my parents first talked to me about sex. When I was very young it wasn’t talked about and images of sexual nature on TV were obviously forbidden but the ‘why’ was assumed, never explained. When I got older I recall driving to school with my dad and him telling me not to sexually assault anyone, I believe probably because of some news that was fresh in his mind. My parents generally cautioned me about girls being a distraction from school work. Once I went to the Museum of Science with my brother, sister and Dad and we watched the Miracle of Life. That’s the extent of it.
Talking to future kids: I think I’ll make sure to not only address questions as they come but educate in a proactive way.
– ♂, 29, Ghana/USA
(Go here to share your story!)
Nilikuwa na miaka 5 nilipogundua kuhusu ngono. Wakati ninakua sikufahamu mengi kuhusu hedhi, ila kwamba inawapata wanawake na ni jambo sumbufu. Nilifahamu kuwa inahusu viungo vya uzazi, damu, na uke. Nilitambua kuwa kuvunja ungo ni ishara ya msichana “kuwa mwanamke”. Nilihisi pia kuwa ni jambo siri au tuseme sio ya kuongelewa (ingawa niliona ni vema masuala yote ya kimwili yajadiliwe kawaida).
Nilikuwa na miaka 14 au 15 mara ya kwanza nilipoongea na wazazi wangu kuhusu ngono. Nilipokuwa mdogo zaidi haikuzungumziwa, na sikuruhusiwa kuona mambo ya namna hayo kwenye televisheni — lakini sikujua kwa nini hasa, nilihisi tu. Nilipokuwa mkubwa zaidi, kuna siku baba alikuwa ananipeleka shule akaniambia nisimbake mtu yeyote kamwe; ninadhani labda kulikuwa ameona habari fulani ililyomfanya aone umuhimu wa kunionya hivyo. Wazazi wangu kawaida walinisihi nizingatie shule na sio wasichana. Siku moja nilikwenda Makumbusho ya Sayansi pamoja na kaka yangu, dada yangu, na baba, tukaangalia kanda ya Muujiza wa Uhai. Ni hayo tu.
Kuongea na wanangu huko mbeleni: Ninadhani nitahakikisha sio kujibu maswali yao tu, lakini pia kuwahi kuwaelimisha kiuwazi.
– ♂, 29, Ghana/USA
(Nenda hapa kuchangia simulizi yako!)